It's been months since I've written. That's okay, though - as no time, nothing is wasted... not with God.
I am nearly finished reading The Shack for the 4th time. I am astonished at how this book deeply moves me and how frequently (even in the 4th reading) I must stop to allow my vision to clear... to allow the intensity to ease somewhat before I continue.
I am about to begin chapter 15. I closed my book for the night and sat there musing about all I had read... about living in a relationship with God as opposed to performing to please Him. It wasn't long before I found my mind wandering back into areas of selfish ambition, pride, and of being judgemental - with little to no effort at all. The effort, for me, is the continuous battle to resist such vain and selfish lines of thinking.
As Mack, in the book, in my mind I was trying to walk on water without Jesus. I wanted to take what I had read and run with it! I wanted to amaze the masses and lead others into such a relationship with God... me. I wanted to do this... forgetting so quickly what I had read - apart from Him, we can accomplish none of this on our own.
So that's where I am, trying to learn to sit still and wait for Him. Trying to learn to know Him, trust Him completely, to live in His love. I must allow The Spirit to lead me to the garden of my soul and prune, dig up roots, prepare the soil of my heart and plant - remembering that it is The Spirit that does the work, I only participate by accepting God's love and allowing The Spirit to work in me. Be still, oh my soul, and wait on Him - wait in His love. He will finish what He has began in me.
